As a mother of seven children ranging from the ages of one to fourteen, I am always on the lookout for parenting tips to make my life easier.
If I could go back and tell myself anything when I first started out as a foster parent with no parenting experience, I would mention the importance of sometimes choosing the easier option even if it means my child does not get to acquire a certain life skill.
Let me paint you a picture of what I mean: Five children just got home from school. A toddler is running around screaming “Chase” because she wants to watch Paw Patrol, and a baby is crawling on the dirty floor in search of that one fruit snack the toddler dropped on the ground. The husband just retreated to the bathroom to do a number two because he just got home from work………
It is okay for me to not let my eleven-year-old special needs daughter help me in the kitchen because making spaghetti is really just a one-person job. Telling her what to do and watching her to make sure she does said steps would send me over the edge at that point in time.
So, it is okay for me to say no to her at this time. That does not mean that she won’t be able to help me tomorrow. That does not mean that I am a bad parent because I missed an opportunity to teach my daughter. Let’s not feel ashamed or like a failure as a parent simply because we chose to do the easier thing.
There are things in life that are just not worth worrying over. I am not a perfect parent. I will never be the quintessential mother because let’s face it, moms are already overworked and underpaid (winky face), and I have too much on my plate without adding side dishes of worry and anxiety which will eventually become my main course if I do not keep a check on what I can and cannot let go.
So, to the mom who forgot to get the tooth out from under the pillow when her six-year-old son lost one of his teeth, I say at least she remembered to leave the money…
To the mom who didn’t get her son potty trained until he was five and when he was potty trained, he insisted that he could only wipe his own butt on Tuesdays (so every day became Tuesday), I say at least he got trained before he started school.
To the mom who realized her son slept on a bed of popcorn after he woke up in the morning and said, “Mom, look what the popcorn did to my skin” and with a bewildered look she gazed upon the mattress that was indeed covered in popcorn that he had snuck in the night prior, I say at least he had a good night’s sleep.
You may be thinking to yourself, “Self, those are some oddly specific scenarios,” and I would say, “Yes, because I am that mom.” You can’t control everything, and the kids will survive even if you choose to do the easier thing. What matters is that you are there for them.
